In college, one of my best friends asked me what I wanted to be when I was little. I smiled and my heart became warm as I responded: mother, teacher and doctor. She told me that what we wanted to be when we were children was our most pure expression of what we would want to do as adults. I was struck by those childhood wishes; a part of me would always feel jealous when someone was going to medical school or working with young children.

Somewhere inside, I still wanted to be a healer. I knew after my first birth as a doula, I was going to be a midwife. I knew like the day is clear I wanted to provide care for a woman throughout her pregnancy, birth and beyond.

I care about women. They are our sacred vessels. I love our bodies. I always wanted to do something to make sure the world was better for the next generation. As I was a doula, I tried to start my midwifery education twice through becoming a certified nurse-midwife, but my heart was not committed to that pathway. It has always been committed to work primarily at home and birthing spaces.

I have wanted to study at Maternidad La Luz in Texas since I found out about it 4 years ago. I never applied before because the school is not a Title IV; that is, it can’t receive federal funding. That was why I kept pushing to go the certified nurse-midwife path, because I could take out loans.

It’s been especially challenging to save up the amount of money I’ve needed while supporting myself in full. Yet, the more time I spent around pregnant women, the more I knew I had to try some way to become a midwife. I desire this so much. It fills me with an unspeakably joy to be able to hold the space for a profound transformation – for the woman, family, friends and the world. Being a midwife would be my way of assisting the future generation of mothers and families have healthier beginnings.

Nearly all the loans and grants that I can apply for are for certified nurses-midwives. It would have been logical to go against my heart’s desire to offer women the option to birth in a more sacred and empowering way by being trained medically. But the truth is, I feel my place is with helping women remember their own innate strength outside of these often oppressive institutions. I feel committed to learning in a birth clinic to gain my basic medical skills and be able to be in a much more subdued environment. The money I did have saved is keeping me afloat here in El Paso this summer as I work my butt off at a job to offset some of the expenses. I am unable to take out personal loans because I have other loans in either forbearance, deferment or in collections.

Reaching out to others will not only help me fulfill this dream, but answer a calling for our women at large. This program would give me the opportunity to work as a midwife much sooner than later, so that I would still continue to study with other midwives and be practical as well. I am looking up and doing all that I can to raise the money through other avenues – looking for grants, reaching out to organizations in hopes of a response and asking my network for resources as well.

I am asking for donations to pay for my tuition, books,room and board for a year long program at Maternidad La Luz. I am also requesting resources and help spreading my message.

I am raising $15,700 for the entire year. Maternidad La Luz’s program is divided into 4 quarters, tuition is due on the first day of each quarter, so short-term I need to raise 25% percent of my goal, $4,000 to pay tuition and expenses by August 31st – my first day of school is September 1st. I have a fundraising page here: http://www.gofundme.com/thesewatersrundeep

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